I'm not a pedo, so I don't like someone who's too young for me. Instead, what I want is someone who is around my age group. In that way, we'll understand each other better especially when it comes to the dos and don'ts under the sheets.

I owe my perfect tan to my love for basking in the sun. Though it was never my intention to attract men with it, I've found it easier to catch their attention with the way my skin looks. Even now that I'm older, I still have the same effect on men.

Chicken breast is my favourite part. I either bake it in the oven, fry it, or add some creamy garlic on it. Aside from cooking, I like to play with my cute dog. I take her for a walk in the morning while the sun is not too hot.

I love taking on the role of a stepmother who caught her stepson in the act of beating his bishop. If he looks like he's having trouble then I would do what anyone would, jack him off until he makes a mess of himself.

It's nice to have a conversation with someone who accepts me for who I am, age and all. I am experiencing some difficulties looking for someone like that. I think lads who will waste their time with old ladies are rare these days. I hope someone will...

My career took up most of my younger years. I don't regret it but I mourn the days of having to turn down fit blokes. Now that I have retired, I am going to do my damnest to try and shag as many lads as I can.